So it’s been about 5 days since I was told I no longer had a job. What has life been like these past 5 days? Well to be honest, it’s been a bit confusing.
I am one of these people that can hold their head up proudly, and say that I have never been fired from a job before. I’ve been unemployed yes, but mainly because an internship has come to an end or a temporary job has come to an end. When I first got the job that I am now no longer in, I was coming to the end of my CSI (Collection Skills Initiative Trainee) internship. I had been working with Uproar Comics on a project for my internship, and when my time in the Derry City Council Heritage and Museum Service came to an end, they offered me a job. Naturally I took it.
It was a wonderful year with Uproar, and they taught me so many things, and one of the big highlights for me was getting to create my own history comics for the Tower Museum and the Creative Centenaries project. Unfortunately, my time with them has come to an end, but not in a way that I expected. I won’t go into the details of it.
So what has life been like for me since? As I said, the past 5 days have been a bit confusing. For the first 2 days, I honestly didn’t know myself. I was like a shadow of a person that I once knew. I just roamed around my house like a phantom, doing random chores and watching terrible daytime television. I couldn’t seem to shift from the weird mood that I had gotten myself into. I would think to myself, “Let’s play the Xbox,” an activity that usually cheers me up, but somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice said “Nah…I couldn’t be bothered.” That little voice was quite loud for the first 2 days and I couldn’t do anything that I really enjoyed.
When I woke up on the third day, I knew something was different. My phantom self was starting to recede. I could feel my normal self trying to claw its way back to the surface. My mood had improved somewhat, and I found the inner Museum Professional starting to re-emerge. It was like the wool had been pulled away from my eyes, and all of a sudden, I had the obsessive urge to clean. Sure I had been doing the odd chore here and there when I was in my phantom state, but now that my inner museum professional was coming to the surface, I felt the uncontrollable need to clean my house, from top to bottom. Rooms were thoroughly cleaned that didn’t even need to be thoroughly cleaned. At the end of the day my back ached, my shoulders were tight, and my hands were covered in a fine film of cleaning products, but I felt better. I felt like I had accomplished something.
It was on this day that I even started to contemplate new jobs. I will admit though, this thought completely scared me. I had a brief look online for jobs that I thought would suit me; however the process began to drag me back into that weird mood again, so I stopped.
It was on the fourth day that I decided to set up this blog, and I have to say, already it is helping me so much. This blog is a platform for me to express my thoughts and feelings. Sure the first couple of blogs may be a bit geeky in nature, but they were thoughts that I was having, and getting them out onto the blog helped to clear my head. Even writing this entry is clearing my mind and helping me to understand how I’m feeling about everything.
Writing like this is a sure fire way of me getting back on track when it comes to my professional life, and even my personal life. I am hoping it will provide me with some structure during my days, weeks, months, but hopefully not years, of being unemployed.
I know not many people will read, or even see, my blog, but at least I know that it is out there. Who knows, by writing this, some museums professionals out there may see it and think, “Hmmmm this girl is pretty creative, I think I should hire her!” Alright I know that is wishful thinking, but at least I’m in the mood now for some wishful thinking!!